24"x30" Encaustic, work-in-progress.

I’m out of shape in every way you can imagine and I really feel it. I haven’t been in my studio working except for a dib here and a dab there. Nor have I made it to boot camp in the last five weeks. I’ve been out of town on vacation or business, or just plain working fulltime at my consulting gig. And maybe you’ve noticed I haven’t even blogged regularly in the past month.

As much as I appreciate the mental challenge of work, I miss the real me I was uncovering, as hokey as that sounds. It seems (at least to me) that most successful artists are compelled from childhood to create, create, create. I’ve never had that driven feeling until just a while back when my days were free to paint for almost two months. Then another consulting gig came along and I was back to work fulltime. My entire adult life, I’ve chastised myself for not making time to paint—thinking I just must be lazy. So when that compelled-to-create feeling enveloped me I was feeling pretty empowered.

My “aha” moment came a few weeks ago. Here it is: when I work fulltime and get involved with a client and a project, it seems to gradually encroach and occupy all my brainpower and leave little room for much else. It ISN’T laziness, I just can’t operate successfully at high levels using both sides of my brain at the same time. Art takes time and devotion, at least for me. Over the years, raising kids and/or working fulltime left me with little time for surrendering to my creative inclinations. My photographer, user-experience friend, Albert, has the same conundrum and has come to a similar conclusion. We commiserate and search for solutions.

The challenge now is carving out blocks of time to get back to the studio, because I am craving it. My consulting gig recently has been extended through the end of October—good for our budget— but I’m pleased to tell you that I did stipulate Mondays off. Back to boot camp and the studio, at least on Mondays!

Was anyone but me stunned this week to realize that summer 2009 is history?