Last night handsome hunk and I went to a fundraising event—it wasn’t a gathering of the $25,000-a-dinner crowd, more like the $15 per person admittance fee alternative creative community. During the course of the evening our friends introduced us to other people they knew and several of them instead of taking my outstretched hand, threw their arms around me and gave me a big fat hug. This pushed some buttons for me.

I tend to regard gushy, effusive people as suspect. Growing up, my family hugged and kissed each other, extended family and close friends, but we didn’t gush. We didn’t squeal and say things we didn’t mean while crushing someone to our bosoms—either friend or foe—as if they were our long lost cousin who had been lost in the jungles of South America and we had heard that they had been eaten alive by something or other and we never thought in a trillion years we would see them again, o-my-gosh and now here you are!

Granted, I was shy and that sometimes came across as aloof or snobby I’ve been told, and my Mother recalls her Mom saying she was her “Tennessee Touch-Me-Not” when she was a teen. Perhaps my family could be categorized as affectionate but reserved. I always thought gushy equaled false. As in salesperson, I-like-you-and-say-these-things-because-I-see-$$-false.

I don’t recall encountering effusive people until after I graduated high school and worked in a resort community where people from all over the states congregated at their summer cottages. Suddenly I was being squealed over and hugged. I would immediately stiffen. It was disquieting to me. They didn’t seem genuine. It made me feel as if I were a shy little flower in comparison. They didn’t know me in the least. Perhaps they were just emulating their parents or friends. Gregarious and loud seemed to go hand-in-hand with effusive and gushy. “Fake” is how I saw and felt it all. Handsome Hunk grew up in the summer cottage crowd, but he doesn’t quite carry it off. Every once in a while he resurrects the effusive grin and hug around certain people, and I can see he is pretending. I watch, cringe inwardly and endure.

I recently read somewhere that both aloof & effusive people struggle with how to express emotion appropriately. I would extend that to include handling some social situations. In a few weeks I have to travel again to the land of the effusive for a weekend. It would be nice if I could just go with the flow. Handsome hunk will read this, shake his head and mutter, “fat chance.”

Photo of the weekend:

Our run along the lake was a little later than usual today. But we brought a blanket and the paper and plopped lakeside after to relax. And, we grabbed a hot dog and fries to share on this gorgeous summer day.

Our run along the lake was a little later than usual today and the sun and heat got to me. We brought a blanket and the paper and plopped lakeside afterwards to relax. And, we grabbed a healthy meal of a hot dog & fries from a park cafe to share on this gorgeous summer day.

Enjoy the week ahead!